Raise Your Voice – October 24 and 31, 2010

To celebrate Raise your Voice – CFRU’s annual funding drive:

Part One, October 24, 2010:

Rebecca Anstett talks about one of our most popular topics, Step Parenting. She speaks about how she integrates herself into a family and invites them to join into what she loves to do.

Isabel Hershaw will talk to us about listening: Why is listening important? What do we listen for? How can we improve our listening skills? Taking the time to listen is one of the most important things you can do for your relationships.

Part Two, October 31, 2010 Sharon Lewis and Managing Conflict:

I bet this sounds like a heavy topic. It could have been a VERY scary show for Halloween. It’s not! We talk about how we can see conflict as a way to creatively solve problems.

Raise your Voice – CFRU’s annual funding drive’s goal is to raise $15,000 to:

• build capacity for spoken word content
• build a new website, buy new portable recorders, and having funds for special programming and a user-friendly production board

 

CALL: 8 to 9 AM Sundays October 24th and 31st and donate. Our request line is 519.837.2378 (CFRU).

Donate online: www.CFRU.ca or email me at wendy (at) compassionatesolutions.ca and I’ll thank you on the air with a special gift!

Why donate?

The station gets no corporate funding. All programmers, including me, are volunteers. Family Matters is a unique show helping you create Family Relationships that you love!

When you contribute, you get these gifts in gratitude for your support:

$5.00	Sticker (new design!) and a button
$25 – $49	CFRU Membership and a CD of your choice
$50 – $89	CFRU Membership, CFRU t-shirt (NEW DESIGN!), choice of a CD
$90 – $124	CFRU Membership,CFRU hoodie (NEW DESIGN!), choice of 2 CDS
$125 – $250	CFRU Membership, Choice of Hoodie or t-shirt, choice of 4 CDs  and special prizes!!!

When you support Family Matters, you also get a soft Frisbee (you can use in the house) and or change purse graciously donated by CIBC (Clair and Gordon in Guelph).

1.Initial Consultation with Alexandra Verge (Kura Naturopathic Clinic), valued at $160, for a donation of $175

2. “That All May Read” (DVD) for a donation of $20

3. One hour of empathy with me, valued at $150, for a donation of $160.

4. A CD of an interview I’ve done OR I’ll arrange and record an interview with someone you want to get to know better.

Past Shows on topics of Step Parenting and Listening:

http://cfrufamily.wordpress.com/2010/01/24/show-14-step-families-blended-families/

http://cfrufamily.wordpress.com/2010/06/09/show-33-%e2%80%93-blended-families-with-emily-bouchard/

http://cfrufamily.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/show-7-getting-the-kids-to-listen/

http://cfrufamily.wordpress.com/2009/12/26/show-10-family-relationships/

http://cfrufamily.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/show-11-family-relationships-and-teens/

Show 43 – Mindful Parenting with Laura-May Culver

Aired Live: Sunday, September 26, 2010 8 to 9 AM EASTERN on www.CFRU.ca 93.3 FM in Guelph, Ontario, Canada

Laura-May Culver is a single mom of 2 boys ages 5 and 8 years. She is a registered Social Worker with over 17 years of varied social service and clinical experience, including working with adults with co-dependency, addiction and mental health needs, adolescents, children and families. The Upper Grand District School Board uses her as a  Personal Transformation Consultant with a Mindfulness focus. She offers private counseling and coaching services. You can find out more about Laura-May by visiting her website at www.knowselfservices.com.

What is Mindful Parenting?

It is the spiritual practice of parenting: the practice of being, noticing, and responding to each and every present moment when you can, consistently and persistently.

How do we parent mindfully?

Our bridge to staying present is our breath.

When we’re having a temper tantrum, breathe.

Before grabbing that morning coffee, breathe.

When our child is yelling “I hate you!” or having a temper tantrum, breathe.

Breathe. Practice. Breathe.

Laura-May’s top Mindfulness Links:

Alliance for a New Humanity: www.anhglobal.org

Planetize the Movement: www.planetizethemovement.org

Daily Primordial Sound Meditation: http://www.chopra.com/meditation

Inter-professional Certificate Program in Applied Mindfulness Meditation at the University of Toronto: http://www.socialwork.utoronto.ca/conted/certificate/mindfulnessmed.htm

Sophia Center for Culture and Spirituality in Oakland, CA: http://uniquewebdesignandprinting.com/sophia/director.html

Upper Grand District School Board in Ontario, Canada: http://www.ugdsb.on.ca/whss/article.aspx?id=2468

To be a Mindful Parent, you need your own practice. Kids see through the teacher that doesn’t actually practice!

Be the Change, do your own Practicing! There are so many resources out there for you!

Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth-Awakening to your Life’s Purpose on Oprah!: http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/A-New-Earth-Are-You-Ready-to-be-Awakened  and http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/

Wherever you Go, There you Are—Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn: http://www.mindfulnesscds.com/books.html#wherever

Love based family centred approach, Bryan Post: http://www.postinstitute.com/

Love Never Fails, Heather Forbes: http://www.beyondconsequences.com/

Everyday Blessings-The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Jon Kabat-Zinn: http://www.jonkabat-zinn.com/

Show 41 – Resilient Family Relationships

Air Date: Sunday, September 5, 2010 8 to 9 AM Eastern || www.CFRU.ca 93.3 FM in Guelph, Ontario, Canada

Eric Bowers (www.roadtocompassion.com) offers workshops and courses, consulting, mediation, and personal sessions for: government agencies, businesses, students creating peace tables and no-fault classrooms, youth groups and youth peer supporters, individuals, couples, and groups to find more empowerment, authenticity, compassion, and connection in their lives.

He’s in Guelph, Ontario for Family Matters and for a weekend workshop Transforming Conflict and Building Thriving Relationships:
September 18th and 19th. (see www.roadtocompassion.com/events for details)

What is NVC (www.cnvc.org) and Attachment and how can these support family relationships?

What is empathy?

Eric Bowers will give us examples and practical ways to apply these skills in our own families.

Show #38 – What do I do when the kids leave home?

Airing: Sunday, August 15, 2010  ||  8 to 9 AM Eastern ||  93.3 FM www.CFRU.ca in Guelph, Ontario, Canada

This is a call-in show. Once the show starts, please call 519.837.CFRU (2378) with your questions or comments.

If your kids are moving out or going to school and your faced with a challenging transition, let Julie Wise guide you through an activity to help you discover what you’d like to do next.

Julie Wise (from www.JulieWiseConsulting.com and www.wise1coaching.wordpress.com) joins me in the studio to answer questions from folks who feel unsure when their kids are transitioning from being at home to going to school or living on their own. Julie works with individuals and families to help ease transitions. She’s going to share an activity with us, on the air, from her forthcoming book “Dream BIGGER: Reclaiming a Life of Joy and Ease”

My kids are going to school and I’ve been a stay-at-home parent for several years. Now what do I do?

My kids are moving away from home. I never thought I’d have a hard time with this transition. I’ve always enjoyed time on my own. Now what do I do?

For the person who’s leaving, this may be a scary or fun time.

For the parent who’s at home, this may be a time of freedom or uncertainty. What’s the transition like for you?

Show #37 – Collaborative Family Living with Angela Harms

Aired: Sunday, August 8, 2010 || 8 to 9 AM Eastern on CFRU 93.3 FM in Guelph, Ontario, Canada

Living collaboratively with children and adults is possible. Angela Harms, a mom of 4 boys ages 6, 15, 18, and 21 years, shares her experiences and the joy of living with teens.

When we demand compliance, what’s motivating our behaviour? What does it take to live collaboratively? Is working together always possible? What do we do when we hear that dreaded word “no” when we ask for help?

Collaboration doesn’t necessarily mean we’re nice with each other all the time. Instead, as I understand it, it’s a way of valuing all of our voices and speaking up, if you will, about how each of us wants to contribute to the family. Collaboration involves tapping into our innate passions and motivations to live together. All our opinions matter.

“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?”  Jane Nelson

What does collaborative living look like? Life isn’t always easy and joyful. We discuss learning from mistakes, reconciliation, and sharing our vulnerability with each other. Our openness and honesty invites openness and honesty in others. Collaboration can be as simple as sharing what’s involved in caring for the house and the people in it so that everyone is aware of what they can do to help out. It can involve difficult conversations where we share our fears and trust our kids can make informed decisions. Angela describes how much she loves and enjoys her family.

Show 31 – Simplicity Parenting with Kim John Payne

Air date: Sunday, May 30, 2010: 8 to 9 Am Eastern || CFRU 93.3 FM in Guelph, Ontario, Canada

For nearly 30 years, Kim John Payne has been a consultant, researcher, and educator for children and adults to more than 110 US Independent and Public Schools, and around the world. He has been helping children, adolescents, and families explore issues such as social difficulties with siblings and classmates, attention and behavioural issues at home and school, and a range of emotional issues such as defiance, aggression, addiction, and self-esteem. He’s a regular key-note speaker at International Conferences on Education for parents and therapists.

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids: http://www.simplicityparenting.com/.

Kim John Payne writes:

Imagine your home…

• as a place where time more a little slower
• becoming less cluttered and more visually relaxing
• with space, and time, for childhood-and with time for one another every day
• as a place where play and exploration are allowed, and honoured
• having more ease as you begin to limit distractions and to say no to the stress of too much, too fast, too soon.
• as a sense of calm and security take hold
• becoming a place where those we love know it, by virtue of our attention, protection, and appreciation

“The most elemental and powerful reason to simplify is this: As your awareness of your children widens and deepens, so too will your love.” Kim John Payne

Show 16 – Growing kids into their potential

Aired February 7, 2010 || 8 to 9 AM Eastern, 93.3 FM CFRU.ca in Guelph

Co-Hosts: Wendy McDonnell and Sharon Lewis

Let’s assume we are naturally motivated to learn and grow. We are born to interact with the world and grow into our next best challenge. Tears and frustration are necessary for learning. As parents, how do we support our child’s own guidance system and intrinsic motivation? How do we support them and manage our own fears when our children are on a learning edge?

“Drawing from hundreds of studies, Kohn demonstrates that people actually do inferior work when they are enticed with money, grades, or other incentives. Programs that use rewards to change people’s behaviour are similarly ineffective over the long run. Promising goodies to children for good behaviour can never produce anything more than temporary obedience. In fact, the more we use artificial inducements to motivate people, the more they lose interest in what we’re bribing them to do. Rewards turn play into work, and work into drudgery.” from Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn

What are some of the alternatives to punishments and rewards?

1) Work with the relationship: we follow people with whom we are connected. Direct only when our child is ready to follow.

2) Appreciation: Specifically what did our child do or say, how do we feel, and what needs were met for mutual celebration.

3) Acknowledge and share what we observe: Notice something worked out well for your child. (Example: “When you practiced each night for two weeks, you figured out that new piece and played it confidently at the recital. That’s what I call determination.”)

4) Ask lots of questions: Any thoughts on how you’d like to handle that? What do you need to figure that out?

5) Natural consequences: (a) consequences not controlled by anyone (Example: stay up past midnight and feel sleepy for the next day=do less than expected on the test) or (b) living with the consequences of our behaviour (decide not to do homework=D on test or detention)

6) Focus on what we want, not what we don’t want: (Example: “What do I need to do to get that mark or participate in that program?” rather than ”You better not skip school.”). Find out why doing something is intrinsically meaningful and important for your child?

Show #9-Travelling with kids

Aired Sunday, December 20, 2009 || 8 to 9 am ET

Shannon MacKenzie-Fraser, Guelph mom of 5 kids travels across Canada and into the US each year.

We discuss tips for what to pack, how to save money, and how to make long trips fun for everyone. Set-backs and delays are inevitable. Travelling with kids IS the adventure.